24lbs down :)

Oh am I so happy to be home :)) I missed my husband oh so much!! I was very proud of myself that I kept up with my goals and I didn't gain weight, I lost 4lbs :)) so now I have reached my first goal!! Now on to my next, 18lbs to go. And tomorrow starts a hard core routine so I am excited to see my results!!! On another note the girls and I had so much fun on our trip, very exhausting but fun, we got to visit with lots of family, and go to Disneyland! Both girls enjoyed it and I got to get on some rides. In the two weeks, the girls changed so much! Jennika repeats everything, and has grown into this little girl, Ruth is all over the place, and blabbering non stop. It's crazy how time flies. And in such a short time they can grow so fast!!! But back to reality! And I need a life, so I am going to work on getting out more and hopefully meeting friends that can become life long friends, I am so tired of not having a social life let alone not having a life outside of my family. So let's hope I can work on that. But until then all focus is on reaching my goals and being the best wife n mom I can be!!!

Visiting family!

Wow have I had a packed week. The girls and I left NC for Oregon last Tuesday and spent 2 days in Washington. Got to see my bestie and my nieces n nephews! It was so awesome to see them all and I'm happy it worked out and their moms worked with me :) then came down to Albany and have been visiting with family. I have been keeping to my goal and have not had any fast food. Been keeping myself under my calorie goal and eating the right portions. I have not worked out every day but we have also haven't been in one spot long enough for me to relax and workout. Which is no excuse but I am excited to get to Cali with my mom so we can workout together! I have been doing a few workouts here and there just randomly when I'm bored. I know I will prob not be at the same weight I was when I left but I also haven't been able to weigh myself. However today I had to buy new pants since mine were getting too loose and I have dropped 2 jean sizes!!! I am 2 sizes away from my first goal and 4 away from my ultimate goal!!!! :) and when I get home I will be hitting the working out hard. I have a plan that I'll be doing the 30 day shred along with slim in 6 plus a run and I feel that will get me to a good rhythm and I will be able to keep with it :) I am still happy with myself and do glad I am out of my old pants!!! And all I want is to continue to lose and of these pants seem to be tight one day I will be working my butt off that day! I will not go back to my old pants!!! I refuse!!! I'm posting my progress pics and my pic in my new smaller pants :)))

All ready for the west coast.

Tomorrow morning the girls and I head to Oregon then driving up to fort Lewis, then to sequim, back to Lewis and the next day back down to Oregon. For 5 days then off to Cali! Oh man it's going to be a busy busy week then a somewhat relaxing week. I am excited to see my nieces and nephews, and the Justus family. Then to see the in laws and more family. But I have to say I am super excited to have some in n out and take the girls to Disney land!!!! Wishing my hubs was coming with me but he can't :( I am also super excite to see everyone (as of right now) nearly 20lbs lighter!!!!! John and I are on our second day of detox and from yesterday I have lost 4.5lbs!!! And John lost 2.5!!! I am becoming so happy with myself. I am proud. But I have a huge challenge in front of me. 2 weeks of not being home. And I have to make sure I continue to workout and eat right. I refuse to eat fast food. I will eat subway if I need to! But I prefer to eat better. So wish me luck!!! My plan is to get some groceries when I get out there so I'll be good :) but I'm stressing out. This is my first flight that I will be completely alone from start to finish. Both times. Since I'm renting a car. So I have to figure out how to manage 2 car seats, a pack n play, a suitcase and a double stroller! AHHHHH. I know I can handle it. It's just overwhelming thinking about it! Well now I'm off to clean finish up last min things and workout!

Lost.

I'm finding that I am getting back into the place where I don't want to be. Going from lots of great friends that enjoy talking to me as much as I enjoy talking to them to one or two people that I talk to maybe on a weekly basis. Starting to feel like I am just not good enough to continue being friends with or I am just easy to forget. I like to think that it's not true but sadly the more days past the more I realize I am not a person people enjoy being friends with for life and I feel I am the only one who keeps trying so I am done. I officially am tired of trying to involve myself and feeling like I bug people so I'm just going to keep to myself. Getting off Facebook and not dealing with trying to make everyone see that I'm still alive. But instead I'm just going to focus on my girls and my husband. Not going to put myself out there anymore and I'm not going to be sharing my business with anyone. If people want to know how I'm doing then they can call me. I'm tired of everything really. But onto a better note I am succeeding in my weigh loss journey more than I expected. Things are going great and I am becoming comfortable with myself. Can't wait to see my progress at the end of the month.

Is it a trend?

In the nearly 3 years John and i have been married, we have been through a lot, i have been there for friends that have gone through a lot, i have been there for family, i feel like i have been helpful in whenever someone needs me to. I'm wondering now why i even try. so i guess i need to just be a hermit and not be there for anyone that isn't there for me, and just be there for my family.

Last night we got a phone call from my mother in law letting us know that John's Aunt Jerry (whom played a huge roll in his life) had passed away. While i was talking to Jacque (my mom in law) she had asked me to tell John, and i couldn't, i couldn't tell him again that someone close to him had passed away. because every time someone has passed away, Aunt Jerry is the 3rd person close to him that has passed in less than 3 years) my heart breaks, and i really have no one to turn to, to talk to other than my husband and family, and they are feeling the same pain that i am feeling but multiplied! In Feb 09 John was in training at NTC in California, and i had to inform him that his grandfather had passed away, in Oct 10 John's brother Joe was KIA in Afghanistan and i had to tell him that his brother wasn't going to come home, which was by far the worst feeling in the world to have to tell your husband, and last night i just couldn't tell him, i am normally a very strong person when it comes to dealing with loss and i am normally one to be ok with telling the news. I am torn up for my family, and my husband. His grandpa i didn't know very well, met only a few times since John and I had only been dating a few months, his brother i had gotten to know and talked to him like he was my own brother and he loved Jennika, and Joe was by far the hardest person to lose in the family, its been over a year and we are all still feeling pain, and Getting the news of Aunt Jerry is another wonderful person this family is going to take awhile to accept.

I am praying that this is not a new thing with our family. seems like every year n a half or so we lose something that is near and dear to our hearts. And i am praying for Uncle Harlan and him losing the love of his life. Now i have to wait for when to book our tickets to oregon and pray that John is able to come...then worry about our dogs.

Posting my success.

I first thought that posting pictures of my success would just embarrass me and I'm too shy to show how I let myself get out of control. But then since seeing my body changing for the better I have decided that maybe a picture a month wouldn't be so bad :) after all I am the one that is changing me and I should be proud of what I am doing and not dwell on the past. After all I can't change the past but I am changing my future :) I have seen more results in my body changing than in my scale. Which is perfectly fine with me since changing my body is more important that what weight is on the scale. :) so at the end of this you will see a picture of my before and a picture of me today. If you can't not be judgmental and rude then keep your comments to yourself. And I'm proud of myself and I hope you can be proud of me too.

Onto family, jennika is seeming to be back on track with her potty issue, and I am so relieved. My friend Jessica gave me this wonderful idea of freezing go gurt, and giving it to her as a treat which worked wonderful this morning. And she has even been dry all day! :)) Ruth is crawling all over, and playing with all the toys. Jennika and Ruth are now playing together, and looking back at our play area to see Ruth all over the place, is awesome. What's even better is seeing her playing with Jennika. Jennika loves her sister, and is enjoying sharing her toys with Ruth. I am just going to enjoy life, and not worry so much about the small stuff. I know my husband will do his very best to take care of us and that's a wonderful feeling.

2 weeks down!

Well I am finished 2weeks of my workouts! :) I did the first set in slim and six and I'm doing much better in the treadmill intervals. :) I have lost 10lbs and 11.5 inches. I feel wonderful!!! I started the second set in slim in six today and it is going to be awesome! It is 20mins longer than the first set and it is way faster. But I am enjoying it! I changed my routine a little and decided slim in six and treadmill need to be in the morning and not at night since I am exhausted by days end. So now tonight I will jump on the treadmill for a half hour and be done. Plus I prefer doing a walk at night than both it gives me too much energy before bed. And now I can workout clean the house shower an head to bed! All by about 915ish. :) I have stayed on track with my healthy eating and even went out to dinner twice this weekend and still ordered something within my calorie range! I have been looking at my pictures that I took before I started working out and pictures I took now and WOW! I totally see a huge difference in just 2wks!!!! It's amazing and I am so happy! Like I have said before I'm not too worried about the numbers on the scale but more focused on eating right and working out. Which I have done so far!

On another note Ruth crawled for the first time last night. Only a little but hey it's a start! And she is all over this morning crawling a few inches then spinning and repeat lol. Jennika is talking way more and I love it! She has conversations with her dolls haha. John is at selection this week and I keep praying everything is going great for him, this is a make or break career thing for him and I'm always praying for the best. Civil affairs is something he wants so bad and it's something that interests him in the army and even though it will be hard on our family I will support him anyway I can so that he meets his goals. Which is what he has done for me!

This is the longest I have kept up with working out and knowing me a year ago I would have never done this. So it is a huge accomplishment for me to be working out 14 days in a row! And not having fast food, soda, or any easy boxed food is so amazing to me! Granted I would like some on some days but I fight my urges and tell myself I didn't lose 10lbs just to gain it back! I am looking forward to what next week holds for me in my weight loss. Hopefully another 3lbs at least. This last week I lost 5lbs! My first goal was 10lbs a month. And I have met that goal in 2wks. I know every month won't be like this but 10lbs will be my main goal :)

I hope you are sticking to your new year resolution. :)