Is it a trend?

In the nearly 3 years John and i have been married, we have been through a lot, i have been there for friends that have gone through a lot, i have been there for family, i feel like i have been helpful in whenever someone needs me to. I'm wondering now why i even try. so i guess i need to just be a hermit and not be there for anyone that isn't there for me, and just be there for my family.

Last night we got a phone call from my mother in law letting us know that John's Aunt Jerry (whom played a huge roll in his life) had passed away. While i was talking to Jacque (my mom in law) she had asked me to tell John, and i couldn't, i couldn't tell him again that someone close to him had passed away. because every time someone has passed away, Aunt Jerry is the 3rd person close to him that has passed in less than 3 years) my heart breaks, and i really have no one to turn to, to talk to other than my husband and family, and they are feeling the same pain that i am feeling but multiplied! In Feb 09 John was in training at NTC in California, and i had to inform him that his grandfather had passed away, in Oct 10 John's brother Joe was KIA in Afghanistan and i had to tell him that his brother wasn't going to come home, which was by far the worst feeling in the world to have to tell your husband, and last night i just couldn't tell him, i am normally a very strong person when it comes to dealing with loss and i am normally one to be ok with telling the news. I am torn up for my family, and my husband. His grandpa i didn't know very well, met only a few times since John and I had only been dating a few months, his brother i had gotten to know and talked to him like he was my own brother and he loved Jennika, and Joe was by far the hardest person to lose in the family, its been over a year and we are all still feeling pain, and Getting the news of Aunt Jerry is another wonderful person this family is going to take awhile to accept.

I am praying that this is not a new thing with our family. seems like every year n a half or so we lose something that is near and dear to our hearts. And i am praying for Uncle Harlan and him losing the love of his life. Now i have to wait for when to book our tickets to oregon and pray that John is able to come...then worry about our dogs.